The first night in our bed

October 28, 2014 - 4 am.

Tonight's the first night I'm back in our bed, Teddy. I can't sleep. I miss your arms. Your lips. Your snuggles. Your gentle murmurs of love when you're still asleep but know I'm awake. Your softness. I'm laying on your side, in your clothes, I brushed my teeth with your toothbrush, I'm smelling your hat, I'm encased in our pillows wishing they were your body. I said my gratitudes before closing the last blind, like we did nightly. Kira and Beats are still up somewhere in the house, waiting for you to come home. I'm searching everywhere to find you. I even tore all the pillows off and looked under the bed like it's all a joke. I never knew I could cry so much, so loudly, like a terribly sad movie. I drink water just so my tears don't dry up. I am a shell of a human without you. I need to find you so you can fill me back up. Please show me your light.